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I was pissed at Malaysian Foreign Ministry for having so slow to produce the certificate of good conduct. I was told to wait 2 months where the same type of record can be received from neighbouring Singapore in 2 weeks time.
And yesterday morning I called Malsyian Foreign Ministry about my Certificate of Good Conduct, I was told that they had processed form number 99. And my form number is 100. So, I was like great. But the lady who answered the phone asked me to call next week and she really sounded like I had gravely insulted her by calling up and enquire about my status.
So, great.. Today, I called again to enquire and I was told flatly that my form is not ready yet. Today was Friday. I should heed my advice of my wife not to call on Friday.
The reason ... simple lah
For Malaysian civil servants, on Friday, their time was spent as follow ..
** 3 hours lunch time .... because you know they have to go to mosque and such ..They are such pious lot.
** 1 hour breakfast time ... must makan first, you know, before working.
** 1 hour tea break ... this is tradition you know, and you can't break this kind of tradition
** 2 hours late for office in the morning ... woah.. traffic jam .. you know.. very bad lah
** 1 hour have to go home early ... woah ..(same reason) .. must go home early man .. Friday got traffic jam you know..
And since Malaysian civil servants are law abidding and since the labor law state that everyday, the working hour is 8 hour. They will never work more than that .. esp on Fridays...
See, I told you, they have no time ........... to actually do the work !!!!!!!!!
There are things for you to do and you can't seem to get time to do it. You need to mow the lawn or make the laundry while your take-home workload is still there. You are seeing your boss' exact words or worse you are hearing your boss's version of Donal Trump's famous words (You are Fired.). Or your demanding partner(s) and relatives voices are ringing in your ear-drum nonstop.
The worst part is your hands keep on shaking and your heartbeat is pounding like your heart is going to jump out of your rip-cage. And while it is the time the jobs should be done, you can't seem to do them because you are worrying about not finishing your job instead of actually finishing your job. It is a kind of paradox here. But you can't help it. And you start to get headaches and migraine. You blame that on Stress.
Well, fine. You make "Stress" a scapegoat. But the real answer is it is you who can't finish up the things you set out to do.
On time like this, I vividly remember Eagles' song "Take It Easy". When I first heard that song, I feel like I was a kind of Cowboy in the countryside with a haystack and a pony just beside me. Then, with those hilarious lyrics, you can't help but amused and you seem somehow transported into serenity and before you knew it, you are "Taking it easy." That is the whole point. Take it easy.
If you think your life is like fast-forwarding in the movie, you need to slow down. Sometimes, events around you happened too fast for your comfort. You didn't realize that at first but with time goes by, you realize you have hard time keeping up. That's where stress comes in. And that is what makes a lot of men falter. When you can't cope with stress, people do extreme measures. Their tempers become short. Their lives become chaotic. Their relationships go awry. Suicide and drugs begin to appear on top of their to do list.
In fact, people just don't get it. The solution is right before their eye. When you feel life is going fast and you feel stress, the only right way to do is "Take It Easy!"
People live for hope. If there is no hope, if there is nothing to look forward to for every day, life will be meaningless. Have you ever watched an old movie called "GroundHog Day"?? In that movie, the events are kept on repeating. It is like living hell, whatever happened the day before will keep on happening then.
If you look closely, our daily lives more or less have "GroundHog Day" effect. Everything is the same. You are slave to the grind. And everyday seems like the day before. And it reminds me of Blur's song "Ernold the same". If we move in mechincal way like this, life is pretty boring and you will soon realize how pointless your whole existence is.
The only way to make life bearable is reserving plenty of hope. It is the hope that one day you will get rich that might keep you going. It is the hope that you will live happily ever after with your loved ones that might kick you alive and make the life worth living.
If you don't have nothing to hope for, you have nothing to live for as well. If you look back into history, you will see during WWII, Narzis were very popular. Hitler was greatly liked by Germans. How so? Reason is simple. Hitler gave hopes to german people. Living in destitute needed a lot of strength and that strength come from hope. And Hitler had many to supply.
In current affairs, look at the recently ended Indonesia election. The then-incumbent Megawati lost and the former army general won in landslide election. Why is that so? ( BBC News ) That is because people chose who can give them more hope. With current Megawati government, there were many extremists actions (Bali bombing among them). And many uprising in the country. So, indonesian people chose the next person who can give them more hope ... Hope for stability and prosperity.
So, who will be next president of U.S.A ? Bush or Kerry? Who can give more hopes to americans? We will have to wait and see.
I want to be anonymous in the cyberspace. And your responsse will most probably like "Yeah Right". If you look around in the web, online communities are full of paranoids. Many people use pseudonyms, login names and such. Very few people use their own names in much fewer online community. The reason most of them give?? I would like to avoid security holes or I would like to keep my privacy intact.
Whatever the reasons, in short, they means "because I'm paranoid!!"
So, what is our online community becoming to? It is like being in the room full of strangers and all of them are wearing masks!! Oh, wait .. I need to add.. All of them are wearing "see-through" masks!!..
What?? See-through mask?? Nonsense, you may say. But, look around and think carefully, my friend. Are we really being anonymous in cyberspace? Staying anonymous online is a myth. Nothing more, nothing less.
If somebody want to trace you, there are means and ways to do that. For example, they can trace your IP and such. Even if you are using dial-up or using internet from cyber cafe or even from your friend's house, eventually you can be traced. If not, how come virus makers and computer hackers are being exposed and sent to jail? You can argue those who got caught are minority.
But the truth is if somebody is willing to spend resources (time and money) to trace another person, it is a matter of time that person got traced. So, be afraid, be very afraid....
So, you became hyper-paranoid about being traced?? Being un-maksed online? The truth, again, is " There are ONLY see-through masks to be used online!!"
While people are being paranoid about "getting un-mask" online, on the other hand, these same people are creating homepages, blogs, personal webspaces and so on. And at the same time, they are promoting those links one way or the other. They want to be known. They want many visitors to come to their sites. I'm not talking about commercial websites or business sites here. I'm talking about personal homepages.
Even when I was a newbie web user, I created one homepage and tried to list in many search engines and newsgroup for free.. Some are even paying money to get noticed!! Sounds pathetic, isn't it? But that is true. And many people are advising their homepages or blogs to their friends and relatives.
Now, while normally people don't like to be known but for their blogs and home pages, people would like others to visit. What is the rational behind this?
The only rational I can think of is people want to create the image for other people to see. That image may be their true identity or that image may be just smoke and mirror. If I wrote, I'm a yong and handsome billionaire as well as available bachelor on my homepages, who can deter me?? And don't be surprised there are many who will believe that too.
But me? I'm different. That's why I said "I want to be anonymous in the cyberspace." And I'm not going to advertise my blog in any form. Let's see how many people can find this place without my effort. But I still like to see people reading what I wrote too..
So, I am a hypcrite. What do want to do? Shoot me??
And I'm thinking of collecting my blog entries here and publish as "My Unpublished Thoughts" in the future. Yeah, right!
There are many obscure songs or momentarily famous songs. Or there are some songs that you loved and other people have absolutely no idea what you are talking about... It is really a sad situation. You would like to praise the song that you like so much. You would like to say .." Listen how the singer sang with emotions." .. "See the lyrics ..how meaningful they are.." or you might want to say " Do you realize that the guitar solo is so great that it absoultely blew me away.."
Anyway, when you do that (praise the song you liked), more or less you expect people to respond.. Either like .."Yeah , absoultely. That song rock!!" or "Hmm.. I don't think it is that great .. you know, the vocal is kinda weak!" or even negative comments like "I absoultely hate that song .. both melody and lyrics suck!". But I tell you, even those negative comments are better than blank stare and expression you get from people when you mentioned the song !! "Huh??" " What?? I didn't know that song!!" And then, people profusly say "Sorry, dude. That song was before my time." or "Sorry, I never heard of it before." and so and so..
It is really painful. Painful to get comments like those. When you are gushing about how wonderful the song is and some people just replied they had never heard of it!! Oh great. So, it is end of the story. You can't continue praising the song. You can't argue with him/her contrary to what he/she thinks the song rocks. You can say nothing. None. Nada. Period. End. And then, in retrospect, you tried to think, am I that old to remember that song?? Am I that stupid to like that song which the other person never even heard of? Or you give yourselves false optimism like .. "Ha, I'm the truly knowledgable one! I know andappreciate good things when I heard. That other person is absoulte luser!!"
Whatever or however you make yourselves to feel good... after awhile, it all sinks in and you just realize you can't talk about the song anymore..But you still like the song nonetheless.. And you feel weird to like the song where other people never heard of. And then you brand yourselves as "weirdo"..
But world wide web is the good place ... I tell ya.. at least for that kind of "weirdo". There are some sites that devote to the song you like. Or there are some home pages whose web masters are devoted fan of the band/singer of the obscure song you like!! And you are delighted.. You feel power and youth pumping into your vein and you feel alive again. And you feel you are not so weird anyway.. Even though, some of those devoted site last updated date may be 2 or 3 years ago and that sites' web masters have long gone and abdandon their passion and obsession of the band/singer or the song you liked...
But you feel rejuvanted and elated nonetheless.... And you feel overly ecstatic when you got comments or emails from people you don't know or don't even know they exist, send messages to you that they have heard and (better) loved that song too.. And that, my friend, will put a person to over the moon...
And here is one song that l liked and nobody seems to recall ... It is "Kiss Of Death" by "L.A Guns"
Even when I read the lyrics, I can hear the melody. Even when I read the lyrics, I can hear the vocals and the emotions the singer has put into the song ... If you ever heard of it, just let me know ...
I watched you burn your hand in my flame
tempting fate again and again
faith is not enough something's gotta change
where is the love without pain
riding on a homebound train
ticket to a place in the sun
like a villain on the run train ain't got going home
don't turn your back on a loaded gun
Well I'm sorry darling I must confess
and as much as I need your caress
you'll keep taking till your very last breath
so put your arms around me
leave me with your kiss of death
Crying out your heart in the rain
pouring it all down the drain
when the pain takes control
touch leaves you cold
it's better sometimes not to prey
Well I guess that's just the way that it goes
why love dies nobody knows
but I love you till my very last breath
don't say a word
just leave me with your kiss of death
Well they told me that you left yesterday
death is just a heartbeat away
and they both reached the end
together ascend
never to be parted again
Well I'm sorry darling I must confess
and as much as I need your caress
you'll keep taking till your very last breath
so put your arms around me
leave me with your kiss of death
well I guess that's just the way that it goes
why love dies no one knows
but I love you till my very last breath
don't say a word
just leave me with your kiss of death
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